Reading my book… “Becoming a person of influence”
I see these quotes as I’m reading and I immediately think of the last thing I stole.
I’m not a klepto [anymore], but I used to take things just because. With some b/s justification for why I did it, usually for the thrill, sometimes just because. “Well I already checked out and didn’t feel like getting back in line to spend $1”. There’s no justification for it. It’s allover the bible and my conscience and society that it’s unacceptable. It also supports the stereotype against black males being thieves. Great work self.
Well in this particular case, I stole basically a really big piece of paper. $1.29
We’d spent close to $150 on everything that day and I decided I wanted to add one more thing to the list. The guy checking us out overlooked it, I know he did. But I did not say anything, I just let him proceed to bag it. I know exactly where I got this bad habit from but that doesn’t make it ok. I then went on to tell her about some more little knick knacks that I got away with. It was wrong. I knew it was wrong. I know even though I got away with it, I was being watched.
I remember confessing to her. Ohhhh you should’ve seen the disappointment/ judgment on her face. It sucked. I felt like crap. I know I was wrong. I could tell she thought less of me after that. It never feels good to disappoint the people you care about. I was definitely a bad guy when I met her. She definitely stuck to her promise of changing my life. My goodness, God puts people in your life for a reason.
Then I read the next paragraph in of the chapter….
“Theft is theft whether it’s $1 or $1,000.”
Without a firm foundation of trust, there is nothing. If you can’t be trusted with the little things then you can’t be trusted at all. I think back to small things like why she never gave me her PIN numbers or passwords, I mean it makes all the sense in the world. As much as I wanted to do the right thing, I didn’t always do it.
I’ve been stolen from before… I’ve stolen before. It’s a cycle. You get deceivingly and and you get got.
Here’s the recurring theme in my journey. I’m not perfect, but endlessly chasing perfection. Every single day, I learn something about myself that I wish to improve upon, and I work to improve it.
It starts at rebuilding my integrity from the ground floor.
I feel I need to add something, I AM FIXING MYSELF. Hopefully my honesty helps fix someone else. Just because I’m reading the bible daily and working to better myself doesn’t mean that I automatically become a lame. No, I’m just more focused on what matter and more determined to be successful. I’ve wasted so much time chasing pleasure in the name of “being young” ok… well now that I know better. Can I just start to chase my dreams? Find love again, maybe find a wife? I think the only way to do it is through the God. That’s just me though.
So this Abe Lincoln excerpt really stood out to me. Yes, I’ve seen so much adversity, now I think about how do I act while in power. How have I acted in power? I’d like to think that I do well and I’m fair in all my doings. But I know my character is flawed, so is my integrity. Moving to the George Bush portion of the block quote: If the world followed me would it be a better world?
I don’t have an answer for that… yet. But I intend for the answer to be YES. Becoming the change that I wish to see in the world. Don’t judge me for who I used to be & the mistakes I’ve made, judge me only for who I am and who I strive to become.
My favorite excerpt would be the DON’T HAVE A PRICE.
I don’t care what people tell you to do, you need to decide early that you can’t be bought. Especially never sell your integrity for revenge. You only hurt yourself when trying to hurt others. Even if you don’t trust me, I know.
Major in the minor things. This goes back to that $1. This goes back to me doing my 30 days of no drinking. I want to drink right now because I’m close… but I’m not there yet. Just a few more hours man.. I’ve made it this far, why not? Do what you SHOULD do before you do what you WANT to do? An amazing method of remaining productive and getting things done. The best part of it all? You don’t dread the work that awaits you when you come home.
I think of how screwed I would’ve been if I hadn’t uploaded a job to a client before leaving the house and not coming home for a whole weekend. GET SH*T DONE.
Love Only. Love Always.