Do I get a re-do?

I read a blog last week which was a letter to the author’s younger self.

When a man walks into a room, he brings his whole life with him. He has a million reasons for being anywhere, just ask him. If you listen, he’ll tell you how he got there. How he forgot where he was going, and that he woke up. If you listen, he’ll tell you about the time he thought he was an angel or dreamt of being perfect. And then he’ll smile with wisdom, content that he realized the world isn’t perfect. We’re flawed, because we want so much more. We’re ruined, because we get these things, and wish for what we had. -Don Draper

I started thinking, if I could do it again, what would I change? Would I go be a Air Force  Pilot and fly fighter jets? That seems like the coolest job in the world. I am enthralled by these jets and their abilities. The newest fighter jet attained by the USAF boasts super-cruise capability of Mach 1.7, or 1.7 times the speed of sound ( 768mph)… which is about 1,300Mph. WITH the assistance of afterburners, the jet can travel even faster… pushing speeds of nearly 1900 MPH. Circle the globe in a mere 4 hours. Stuff like that turns me on.

If I failed as a pilot in the United States Air Force, then I’d go back to school and learn how to play basketball BEFORE I graduated. I mean i’m nice with it now, but it’s too late. Why didn’t anyone tell me that if I practiced hard and played well I could’ve gone to college for free and had a shot at the pros? There are guys younger than me, that make waaaaaaaaay more money than I do. Doing what they love… doing what I pay $34.99 per month to go do at the gym. I could’ve followed in the footsteps of my father and been a pro-athlete.

If I could do it again, I’d go into the police academy and make my way to some sort of special operations unit or swat. I would absolutely love to catch some asshole trying to rape a teenaged girl and kick the shit out of him [like the denzel clip below]. I’d love to drive my police car as fast as I drive now, but legally. I’d love to protect the people who cannot protect themselves, and serve the community. While I know that it’s not all like the movies, I was very very close to joining the police academy coming out of high-school. I just was never satisfied with the salary for the type of work you do. I absolutely love the show Southland, it’s one of the most entertaining police shows on television. I wouldn’t mind being a street cop in Beverly Hills.

To all my dreams, I haven’t given up on you… but like Lauryn Hill said I guess I’ll see ya’ next lifetime

 

My evil plan is coming together

The house I grew up in.

I went home this weekend… for homecoming. These past few I spent 4 days enjoying Michigan State University’s homecoming festivities including tailgating, alumni parties, and of course the football game. Over this weekend I had a yet another amazing time with one of my best friends, and some others whom I have known since elementary school. I can’t believe how many people I recognize from so many moons ago. I can’t believe how many amazing people I have met over the years.

We’re all so grown nowadays. I don’t mean “18 years old and do what I wanna do”. I mean buying my first house grown, traveling the world jet-setting grown,  investing in the stock market grown, approaching 6 figures grown. No seriously, I’m talking about “I do WHATEVER I want to do grown”.

When I was younger, we would take one, maybe two trips a year. These trips were long car or rides, very rarely air travel. Now I find myself wheels up more often than ever. According to the tracking devices on my phone, I’ve been to 12 different states this year. In the few brief hours, I was joyed/saddened when I saw how many people are still in the same places doing the same things. So many folks that will never grasp the opportunities to venture outside of Flint. Some of them will live on the same block their entire lives, never leaving their parent’s house, simply surviving day to day until it’s all over. I took a short drive through the neighborhood, stopped and talked to old neighbors, visited my GREAT-grandmother, and also went to dinner with my grandparents. Today I had my first beer with my g-pops. I saw one of my old partners in crime taking his two children for a walk through my old neighborhood. It put a smile on my face, because ~18 years ago that was us. Those that were once considered the haves, have been surpassed by the have-nots. Some people are satisfied with remaining the same, while I am not, I am happy for those that are happy.

Spending time on campus, I saw how much the things I used to live for longer interest me. I hate college parties, and literally only stayed for 30 seconds at the house party we stopped into. I used to drink to get drunk, now I drink to get drunk… with much better drink selection. I see why upperclassmen don’t deal with freshman, and I see why grad students don’t deal with upperclassmen.

Overall, It amazes me how much things have changed, and how much things haven’t really changed at all. I realize how many things I would’ve done differently if only I had a second chance. Oh if I knew then what I know now. While I have my regrets, I am thankful for where I have ended up and who I have become.

A wise man Jay-Z once said “They lookin at you strange saying ‘you’ve changed’/ Like I worked this hard just to stay the same”

At the end of the day, I took a deep breath, looked in the mirror like a proud father, gave myself a pat on the back and re-assured myself “You’ve turned into a fine young man.”

Pinky asked “What are we going to do tomorrow?”… Brain replied “We are going to take-over the world”. I’m convinced that finally My evil plan is coming together.

 

On my desk…

I really want to start writing more, I always feel so uninspired to churn out a blog; I don’t know why that is. Maybe because I’m normally busy with work or work or work or school or my family.

I have a simple topic though. What’s on my desk??

1. A 15″ Apple Macbook Pro and a 22″ external Monitor – Of course I need to be able to get my work done, and I need lots of real estate to do it with. Large monitor= better photo editing.

2. Framed photo of the cutest couple in life – My grandparents stay on my desk as a reminder of why I’m here and who struggled so hard to give me the little piece of opportunity that I’ve been given. I believe this photo comes from an anniversary celebrating their endless love for each other. RIP Big Daddy and Grandma Abbie.

3. A Magic Mouse, a tablet, and wireless keyboard… Input devices are just as important as the output. The magic mouse is the absolute truth. P.B.Period.

The tablet, makes it much easier to edit photos since I can draw directly on the screen.

The wireless keyboard gives me freedom, sometimes I like to type in my lap with my feet up.

http://store.apple.com/us/product/MB829LL/A?mco=MTY3ODQ5OTY

4. Firewire Hard drives… Terrabytes upon terrabytes of storage for fast editing and back-ups

5.  A small personal Fan.

6. A desk lamp of course…

7. A bottle of Grand Marnier – to better relax of course

8. Candles…. for even more relaxation

See… I have something to write about afterall. I’ve been lying to myself all this time, when there was material right in front of me. It saddens me that I used  to have thousands of visitors each day, and kinda just let it all slip away

Anyways, what’s on your desk?

 

The Spoof Video

The Real video

about 3 minutes in Drake completely loses his flow and can’t find anything in his BB to rap. So much for it being a “freestyle”. Oh well, He still has the hottest mixtape of 09… maybe period.

Here is the excerpt from the interview. Since I couldn’t find a link online for Alanna and Odessa, I just typed what I read from the newest Vibe Magazine… with Drake on the cover.

VIBE: You did a couple of Drake Spoofs that were spot on. Why doesn’t dude look into the camera?

AFFION CROCKETT: He might be self-conscious about them thick eyebrows. Them windshield siper joins. OOr that might be part of his swag., like: If I don’t give a lady eye contact, they’ll want some more. The ones [in the spoof] were just some caterpillars off the ground. I just laid ‘em on my forehead for a quick second. The thing about impressions is just getting part of their essence down. I don’t feel like I sound or look exactly like none of these cats, but I do it close enough to where it’s believable. Its supposed to be funny. I’m not trying to become these people.

 

My list

I eat what I like, but I don’t like AppleJacks

I love good food.

I love good movies. I walk out on the sh*tty ones.

Blueray

I can be sarcastic at times.

Fall is the best season of the year.

Macaroni and Cheese is the true meaning behind Thanksgiving

Cranberry and dressing is a close 2^nd

Mac > PC

I have to have new socks… soft and brandnew

iLove my iPhone, and buy it lots of accessories.

I love music, good music.

Sade, Alicia Keys, Jill Scott, Portishead, John Mayer, Robin Thicke

Bose Quiet Comfort 3 is what bliss sounds like.

I’m 1/ 3 fluent in Spanish jajaja.

Penguins of Madagascar

I like watching football and playing basketball.

I drink quality liquor… and want a single malt scotch right now.

Thievery Corporation

Fresh air

Women are God’s most beautiful creation

I have owned 4 Kawasaki Motorcycles and 1 Honda

Wheat > White

Pasta

Tattoos

The illuminated keyboard on the MacBook Pro is one of the world’s finest inventions.

Richard Pryor= 2 funniest words in comedy

I listen.

I’m a Scorpio.

Prada + Versace = dope

LA Lakers

I turn the AC on just to get under the covers

Jay-Z, Kanye West, The Roots, Eminem, 50 Cent, Mos Def, Common, Lupe Fiasco

I love Nikon DSLR’s

Economy class is uncomfortable.

I love traveling

Patron Anejo

I use girly lotions, soaps, and shampoo

Cashmere

Leather

Nia Long, Kerry Washington, Gabrielle Union, Meagan Goode

Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Robert Downey Jr., Brad Pitt, Will Ferrell

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, The Wire, The Boondocks, Family Guy

Women

American Muscle

Candles

Being from Flint

Maxim and GQ magazine

I despise dirty dishes… In the cabinet

 

Sunday

Sunday chores. What to do oh what to do?

Relax, watch football and drink beer. Take a nap. Watch more football. Check my fantasy scores, I’m currently 8-2 in my league. I’m 9-1 if you ask me, I only lost that second game because I was on a flight and couldn’t change my lineup. It doesn’t really matter too much, I’m #1 in my league nontheless. Patriots helped keep the Colts undefeated, and I appreciate that dearly. I’m sure Travasha is happy about it too.

I decided to clean up my room, not just throw stuff around but I’m getting rid of more old shit. I have to confess that o am a sock person. A pair of new shoes is not complete without a pair of new socks. I had spent a few hours trying to get back to the store in which I had found the most comfortable dress socks. I checked all the department stores, Nordstroms, Saks 5th… Nothing. I checked Banana Republic and Johnston & Murphy… Nothing. So I quit the dumb search and went to Target to just get some other items. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t find what I was looking for at Target. I got a few pair so that I wouldn’t go through the trouble again. Guess I had picked them up in a rush last time.

So I threw out all the old stuff, and filled the drawer with the new. Here’s a peek into my super secret top drawer before and after.

 

Acceptance Speech

Three days in a row I’ve been questioned on my inability to smile. A random gentleman says to me “you should smile more”, the following day a woman asks “Do you ever smile!”, then today a friend mentions that I don’t look like myself.

I just haven’t been in the mood for it, it’s almost like the world is trying to beat the smile off my face. I’m facing the biggest loss ever. I’ve lost a couple hundred before, I’ve lost a couple thousand before, but never some shit like this. Had the accident last week that totalled the car and my truck isn’t working. My uncle is dealing with cancer right now and it’s not looking too good now, I won’t put a time on it because i’m not qualified to do so, but I overheard the hospice conversation.

This morning my mother hit me up to wish me a happy belated birthday, that ended up turning into a nightmare. I felt like I was talking to my baby’s momma, not my own mother. The conversation stems from her dissatisfaction with life and the fact that im raising her other son, because she is not fit to do so. I got baby momma drama and I don’t even have kids haha.

So now that all that has been said, let me tell you why I’m motivated and smiling. In my second read through my newest book, The 50th law, I gained a better understanding on opportunism. Turn shit into sugar. Every negative situation can be turned into positive.

“See things for what they are, intense realism. Reality can be rather harsh, your days are numbered. It takes constant effort to carve a place for yourself in this ruthlessly competitive world, and hold onto it. People are treachlurlus, they bring endless battles into your life. Your task is to resist the temptation to wish it were all different. Instead you must fearlessly accept these circumstances. Even embrace them, by focusing your attention on what is going on around you, you’ll gain a sharp appreciation for what makes some people advance, and others fall behind. By seeing though peoples manipulations, you can turn them around. The firmer your grasp on reality, the more power you will have to alter it for your purposes.”

50 cent/ Robert Green

This is my acceptance speech, for I am accepting my situation as it is. 50 cent made the best of his shooting, eminem made the best of his lowlife parents and cheating wife, kanye west made the best of rejection and his car crash…. And they all made millions and got to tell their story. Even though Im not a rapper, im going to make the best of what i have.

I finally smiled after listening to some music. And someone else made me smile too, she knows who she is.

I even found this lovely place in Atlanta, since I rode the train today.

 

Feliz Cumpleaños

It’s ALMOST that time again, tomorrow will be another full rotation of the sun. I think it’s so “adorable” that my grandparents always call me on the 7th, every single year, and tell me happy birthday. I’m starting to be uncertain that my birthday really is on the 8th. Each time they ask me  my sarcastic response “I think it’s tomorrow” loses some sarcasm and turns into uncertainty “It’s tomorrow, i think???”

This morning Arielle (missdef.wordpress.com) even asked me “Your birthday is tomorrow, right?”

For the record, Nov 8th is my actual birthday

Anyways, I appreciate all the love and birthday wishes. Thanks to everyone who came out. Thanks to those who were there in spirit. Even a special thanks to those who snapped on me about not inviting them, then I apologized (cause it was an accident), then I invited them, and they still didn’t show up. Thanks to my cousin Solomon who waited our table, and my friend Ashley who was at the bar making Top Shelf Margaritas just for me.

I was going to have the get together that I had last night, tonight, but it’s someone else’s birthday and I didn’t want to have the schedule conflict.

We ate at No Mas Hacienda & Cantina, and then ended up going to Shout later-on.

Here’s some pics from last night:

Double Birthday Shots of  Shaken/Chilled Patron Añejo (so smoooth)

@BriBriLALA and @LaVidaDeLaDiva

My sisters Charlotte (http://www.3girlsandamic.com) and Camille (@camimy)

 

more pics inside…

 

Get over it.

So I have some songs that I really like, and they happen to be break-up songs. I somehow created this playlist of “no longer together” songs, I listen to them even when I’m not pissed off or sad. I guess that’s because they aren’t “sad” songs.

I have an ex-girlfriend, I’m sure most of my readers have ex-girl/boyfriends…maybe even ex-husbands. I’m also pretty confident that we’ve all heard the classic Cause I Love You – Lenny Williams, What If – Babyface, but these songs are different.

Anyways, I’ve been seeing more and more people tweet about breakups, so I’m going to share my top not – so – in- love songs…. and yes, Sade is on the list 3x. Feel free to listen to them, all different songs, from different types of relationships.

(Click the title, and the song will play)

I Only Want You – Janita

Why can’t I have you?
So OK the reality is
that I wish you eternal bliss
And may you live a long and beautiful life
with noisy kids and an ugly wife
But seriously, I wish you well

Can’t Wait to Hate You – Dream

I can’t wait to hate you
Oh, the things you put me through
I wanna move on
I can’t wait to hate you

This is all crazy
And I can’t come to grips with the fact that you’re gone

Better Things – Massive Attack

You say the magic’s gone
Well I’m not a magician
You say the spark’s gone
Well get an electrician
And save your line about needing to be free
Ah, that’s bullshit babe
You just want rid of me

Take the Box – Amy Winehouse

Your neighbours were screaming
I don’t have a key for downstairs, so I punched all the buzzers hoping you wouldn’t be there…

Don’t Bring Me Down – Sia

Don’t bring me down, I beg you

Don’t bring me down, I won’t let you

Don’t bring me down

Tyrone – Erykah Badu

I think you’d better call Tyrone

(Call him)

And tell him come on help you… get… your shit

In the Morning – Norah Jones

My girlfriend tried to help me

Get you off my mind

She tried a little tea and sympathy

To help me to unwind

In the morning

Baby, in the afternoon

I Never Thought I’d See the Day – Sade

you shed a shadow on my life

shed a shadow on a love

took the shelter out of my life

took the shelter of a lie

Ex-Factor – Lauryn Hill

It could all be so simple

But you’d rather make it hard

Loving you is like a battle

And we both end up with scars

Tell me, who I have to be

To gain some reciprocity

See, no one loves you more than me

And no one ever will

My Darling – Ralph Myerz ft/ Pee Wee

You had your chance, but you never called me So I started to get cold And I’m tired of this little romance Tired of fake diamonds, fake silver, fake gold

Bulletproof Soul – Sade

You kept on thinking
You were the only one
Too busy thinking
Love is a gun

I know the end before
The story’s been told
It’s not that complicated
But you’re gonna need a bullet proof soul

My Life – Dido

What I choose to do is of no concern to you and your friends
Where I lay my hat may not be my home, but I will last on my own

 

Peace of Mind – Lauryn Hill

He says it’s impossible… But I know it’s possible
He says it’s impossible without him… But I know it’s possible
To finally be in love… And know the real meaning of
A lasting relationship… Not based on ownership

Seven Months – Portishead

How can I forget you

Disregard how I feel

Silently listen

To the words I can’t see

Why should I forgive you

After all that I’ve seen

Quietly whisper

When my heart wants to scream

Stronger than Pride – Sade

I won’t pretend that I intend to stop living

I won’t pretend I’m good at forgiving

But I can’t hate you

Although I have tried

I still really really love you

Love is stronger than pride

So Simple – Alicia Keys

What it is ain’t what it wasWhat should it be, when it comes to you andHow it seems ain’t how it is

There’s been a change

 

Cross My Mind – Jill Scott

I was just thinking about you

Wondering if you wear the same cologne

Smelled good on you

Had the next boyfriend of mine try the same kind

But it stunk on him though

You know what they say everything ain’t for everybody

But I tried anyway

You sure did smell good…

I’ll try to come back later and post actual links to the songs, or host the songs myself, but for now this should do.

Ok, one video…

I Want You – Massive Attack ft/ Madonna

It’s too bad, so sad, that you don’t want me no more

but I’m gonna change your mind, some way some how

I want you, the right way

I want you, but I want you to want me too..

Honorable Mention:

Call this whole thing off – Drake

 

Hit & Run is the new Snatch & Grab

10/31/2009

Damage Video

Last night, well early this morning, about 5 a.m. I was dropping my cousin off at Clark Atlanta from a party. We had to stop and get gas, so after I filled the gas tank up and turned back onto Northside Dr. there was a black/ dark greyish Pontiac G6 that was flying down the street.

Three young black men in the car, all huddle up in the front seat talking, well dressed as if they too had just left a party, and appeared to have been drinking now that I think back on it.

We came to the stoplight.. waited, got the green and they pulled off in front of me (i was in the left hand lane), as I drove past the Chevron on Norhside, they slam on the brakes with their left blinker on, so I get in the right lane to go past them, then out of nowhere, the car turns into my lane, and all I can remember is braking and trying to swerve out of the way. It was wet, couldn’t stop. They drove right into me and then drove me off the road, I hit a telephone pole and the street sign.

Northside/ Parkham intersection

All the airbags, front and side inflated…

The car automatically dialed 9-1-1 and transferred the call to my iPhone once I stepped out. The hazard lights automatically came on, and the horn sounded every few seconds. Looking back, I’d have to say I’m very impressed with the safety/ technology in that vehicle.

I was so concerned with getting out of the car, that airbag smell gave me the most claustrophobic feeling I’ve ever felt.

Before I even got out of the car, and the car full of boys just drove off… they went down to MLK blvd, made a left turn and ran the light, I guess they were trying to get back to campus. I’d imagine because they were drunk or un-insured.

I checked on my cousin, she was holding her arm crying, had to make sure she was ok. Police came, a few witnesses came and said they spotted the vehicle near the train-station, but they still haven’t been found.

Couldn’t even sleep because it kept going through my head. I’m pissed about the 2010 Ford Mustang that appears to be totalled. I’m pissed that the assholes drove off. I’m pissed that the assholes HIT me. I’m pissed that my “perfect” accident record is screwed. I’ve had a bumper or two, and a motorcycle lowside, but in a car never anything like this. Didn’t get to sleep until about 8 this morning, very exhausted.

I’ve got a knot on my head and my hand is swollen (it was blue last night), but I’m in one piece. Everyone says that it could’ve been worse. :-/

I just think it could’ve been better.

If anyone has seen a dark colored Pontiac G6 with tinted windows and a bumper sticker that says “Jesus”. They should have damage on their passenger side. More than likely students at Clark Atlanta University or Morehouse University. Please report the vehicle and/or owners to the Atlanta Police department, hit and run division.

oh the irony of that Jesus sticker.